Update

The paint had barely dried on my final art project which finished the decoration for our new foster baby's room. Everything I needed was ready. Then... We find out we are pregnant!! Amazing. My favorite line on this was "Best Choice Maker." I have been dreaming of helping kids through adoption for as long as I can remember. So this is a little shock and a big change in plans. We had one meeting left with our social worker, we were about 5 weeks away from being allowed to have babies placed in our home. But I am confident that God makes the best choices for us and I'm resting in His kindness and wisdom.

So it is a change in plans, but it is an easy, happy one. There have been times that God has changed my plans and it was hard for me. This one isn't. Well, truthfully, there is frustration for all my expectations for this upcoming year, but that's all it is--a year, a year and a half and my plans are back on! And in the mean time, we will be welcoming a precious little one into the world. Like I said in our first post, I love babies any way I can get them. And we already love this little one!

I look at this post and realize it sounds a little contradictory. Am I happy or sad? The truth is, both. I am sad that our happy blessing does exclude something I really, really wanted to do (even if it is only temporary). But I'm very, very happy about our sweet new upcoming blessing. But I don't feel like one negates the other, I just feel both at the same time. Hey, I'm pregnant, aren't I allowed wacky emotions? What good is all this if I don't get a free pass? :)

The nitty gritty on our foster plans: They require that our baby is 6 months before they will reopen our file, and then they will asses how our family is and if we're ready to proceed. We still are close to finishing our file, and that won't be much more to complete. We will probably have to do some more class hours, but that shouldn't be a big deal. It should be quick and easy to be ready again, and we are still very committed to foster-adoption.

Now, we wait and enjoy the blessings God has given us (sometime mid April)!

Why Are We Adopting? Answer #2.

I want to just say, I love all of who have been asking us about this. I love talking about it (can you tell by how fast I talk? :)). Even if you think we’re crazy, I would love to answer those questions too! I’ve realized, though, that I often end up just talking about the process, and what many of you really might what to know is the why. So for all those questions that didn’t get asked or answered:

Why are we adopting? Answer #2.

Because it makes my heart sing. I’m sure many of you have something that makes you happy, your obsession. It is what keeps you up at night or gets you out of bed in the morning. It’s what puts a smile on your face. Orphans have always been a passion of mine.  A long time ago, prompted by one of my awesome Biola profs, I asked myself the question that I hope to ask my girls: “How can I use my gifts and passions for Christ?” I knew the answer was kids, people, relationships. And orphans followed naturally. I became hooked; I couldn’t get them out of my head. Now the thought of finally getting to reach out and love kids who need it just makes me feel like dancing in the streets. This is what I was made for. This makes me feel alive. My heart is singing.

It was different for Kevin though. He knew what he was marrying when he picked me; I was upfront about all of my crazy dreams. While they weren’t his dreams 8-9 years ago, he has come to being every bit as committed to it as I am. Now he loves the idea of helping kids when they need it a (he is way more passionate about the “foster” part of the fost-adopt process than I am!). So we’ve come to the foster-adoption to help kids where they need it, when they need and if a permanent adoptive family is what they need, we’d both be beyond happy to be that family for them. He loves the idea of our whole family doing ministry together, shoulder to shoulder, each member (even the 1 year old) doing a part to reach out to the hurting in the world. And something I absolutely love about him--he believes in doing the right thing because it’s the right thing. I know from experience that that commitment can get you through many a difficult hour.

Which leads me to my last thought. I want to help kids because I feel like it’s what we’ve been called to and I want to obey. Many of you know that I’m something of a blog junkie. My treadmill, iPad and half marathon training schedule has only made it worse. I read dozens of blogs, really. As a result, I hear ALL the stories. The tear-jerkingly beautiful, the bad, and the sometimes very ugly. I have heard many, many ways this can go wrong. And I can stay up at night panicked at all the nightmares I’ve heard. But--and this is a huge but for me--I believe in a sovereign, loving God. And I know that He has called us to love the hurting in the world (James 1:27: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”). A verse I’ve been meditating on lately is Psalm 37:5-6:

Commit your way to the LORD;
  trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
  your vindication like the noonday sun.

That’s it. Do the right thing, commit it to God and let Him have the rest. That’s all I can do, right? Oh, the peace that comes from trusting in God! Which leads me to the hymn I’ve been singing this week:

All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well,
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

1st Meeting

So we had our first meeting with the foster agency! It was our “initial home safety review,” in which we were told what we needed to change. Being as we already have 2 little ones, we are pretty well baby proofed. There are a few specific regulations we will have to accommodate, but nothing too taxing.

Our licensing worker was super sweet and enthusiastic. She made us very comfortable, and we got the feeling that they try to come alongside, help and encourage their families. She said that everybody in her office was great like her, I surely hope so!! :) We are very enthusiastic. I can't believe that after all these years of talking and dreaming, we've really taken the 1st step!!

Up Next:
We have a class on Thursday. In June we’ll start a 2 hour a week for 6 weeks class. We have 2 Saturday classes, CPR training and some (ok, a lot) more paperwork to fill out. And that’s it for the foster licensing! After we’re approved for that we’ll start the adoption home study, which, from what I hear, I much, much more in depth. That won’t be until August at the very earliest, and it takes a couple months on it’s own.

I want to use this blog to talk about the “why” we’re doing what we’re doing a little... So here goes!!

Why are we adopting?

Because we have been loved much, and want to love much. Pictured is my all-time favorite piece of furniture, a dresser my mom hand painted for Karis. On it, she painted the verse 1 John 3:1: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” That says it all. We have been loved with a love deep enough and strong enough to reach down and save us. Loved enough that the King would die for us--and adopt us as His own. I have a hard time understanding this, comprehending this. I think that’s why Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:17b-19 “And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” I think it’ll be a lifelong journey to understand how God loves us, as the Holy Spirit enables. I do understand enough to know that God loves us a whole lot. And that motivates us to love others. I am in awe that God can use me, a broken vessel, to bless others. But I rejoice that when He does, He gets the glory!!!

The truth is, we love to love kids. I remember when Karis was born how my heart just felt like it grew. Grew with love for that little one. And then came sweet Ella, and my heart grew some more. I have a very distinctive memory of being in the hospital with Aletheia and thinking how much I just loved to love her. I thought, “uh oh, this feeling could get addicting, I might end up with quite the kid collection!” I love my kids, and love to love them. Nothing makes me happier.

Announcing!

Our family has an announcement: we are going to be signing up to fost-adopt!! We have always loved kids and this is something we have been thinking, praying and dreaming about for years now. We have weighed all the options for adoption, and have chosen fost-adopt through the state as what we hope will be the best fit for our family. We are very excited about what this will mean for our family!!

I want to use this blog as a way of sharing with everybody the process as we go, as well as explaining some of our thoughts and motivations for adoption. Since we'll be going through the state, I'm going to leave off all personal identifiers.

As excited as we are about this, we recognize that it won't be perfectly seamless or free of difficulty (we're ok with that!). We would love prayers from you, our wonderful friends and family, who have always supported us. I can't think of anyone that has a more loving support system than we have... Wouldn't it be selfish not to share???

First step: meeting with the agency. We hope to be licensed in 5-6 months, ready for kids by November!!